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Re-reading Wicked

It was today why I realized I took Human Geography. It was for the word ‘hinterland.’ And just so you know, that is the one and only useful thing I learned from human geography that I have been able to apply to my life.

"And you must be better in all aspects of your life."

- Tina, Bring It On Again

Maybe I Did Take Something Away from ‘The Great Gatsby’

The older I get, the more I can relate to things that I learn and read about. I mean, I’m sure I have always related to these things, but I am slowly starting to realize this.
However, the past few days I have started to feel like Nick Caraway from ‘The Great Gatsby.’ I completely agree with the stereotype that most of the “smart” people in this world are rich. Now, I’m not sure if the smarts lead to the wealth or vise versa, and I’m completely aware that the stereotype is not true for everyone. Exhibit A: myself and millions of college students. But if there is one thing my parents have given me, it’s my old soul that they have raised me to have. I’m not a very materialistic teenager that needs a mansion and literally every possession that they can buy. But I can’t help but shake the feeling that I am living a watered down version of “The Great Gatsby” and I am Nick Caraway, surrounded by a bunch of people who do not know what to do with their wealth and status. They’re not having affairs or hitting people with their cars (OOPS SPOILER ALERT). They may be setting themselves up in high expectations of the green light across the bay. However, I like to imagine that light as wealth or maybe some sort of self satisfaction for the people in my life because lord knows they are striving towards some impossible goal that seems close enough to reach, but in the final clamp it barely misses like the claw machine at every Buffalo Wild Wings. Basically I’m definitely going to be going to a therapist in my late 20’s-30’s (it’s been a while sense I read the book so details are a little hazy) just talking about how I don’t understand other peoples actions and how the relatively small town of Myrtle Beach, small in comparison to Long Island, has ruined my opinion of life as I know it. And I am going to be so glad that I always complimented my friends on a job well done even though they do not usually return the favor, never regretting for a second that probably is the deepest and most meaningful compliment I had ever given them, though it seems so worthless to anyone else who would’ve heard it from afar. I like to imagine the eyes of god strangely as my sister. This is because she lives pretty far away, not exactly between Surfside Beach and Myrtle Beach in Garden City (my version of the city if ashes), but she always oversees my problems not exactly having a part in any of them but just knowing what is happening, and even though the book was sad, my version of the eyes of god have a smile just below the cutoff of the billboard. Just smiling to see what a chaotic world they are watching but don’t have to be a part of. (Entering some sort of Segway here) The qualities I really do feel like relates Nick Caraway and myself together are that everyone tell us their problems, everyone pretty much accepts us even though we are kinda broke and not a member of a rich family, however cousin of a rich family, and we both want to earn every single cent, object, or person all by ourselves without getting help from our rich gangster friends or having to later be black-mailed for asking our cousins for a favor.

Thoughts at 1 am.
Not sure if this even make sense out of my rambling brain.


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